From A Male Victim Of Domestic Violence. (Why I Stayed)

With all the talk of Ray Rice I figured this would be a good opportunity to say a few words.

It seems that many are forgetting that men are abused as well, or simply don’t care. If you don’t then you should, over two-thirds of abusers in domestic abuse cases are women. A rough 70% according to a Harvard Study.

I realize this is completely unrelated to traveling, but it is also a subject that pertains to my life, which this blog happens to be a byproduct of.

You see, I gave up my dreams to travel due to a girl that emotionally and physically abused me. It wasn’t just me that suffered either… my bank account was also abused. All the money I had put aside was spent on her and  I ended up in debt after the purchase of an engagement ring. I gave up my life and my money and to this day I’m still paying my family back for what I had borrowed.

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It was only a short time ago that I got myself out of the horrible cycle that was our relationship and began traveling the world.

As one might assume, this was all quite horrible and honestly I wouldn’t wish my experiences on anyone.

I have emasculating memories of crying almost nightly. I ended up addicted to benzos just to deal with my situation and even ended up in the hospital due to an overdose before I came to my senses.

Why I stayed‬ – Because I believed that was as good as it got, for me.

Why I left – Sometimes having nothing is better than having something.

It’s not often you see men the victim of abuse, or see them talking about it when they are, but I’m not ashamed to admit that I was. It can happen to anyone.

While it was mostly emotional abuse that I suffered.. in one situation, I was punched in the face, before being threatened with a knife and a razor blade. All before being made to look like the villain because of my gender.

What’s funny about domestic violence is that when a man fights back against it, he’s not considered a victim any longer, he’s considered the one that’s being abusive. Society says he has to sit back and accept it. Sexist to be sure. Entitlement really degrades both genders.

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I’m not going to get into my story right now as this isn’t the place for my dirty laundry. However, If I get enough interest I will consider posting it.

Let me tell you though, that it doesn’t matter your gender or the reasons why it happened. Don’t let being the victim of someone else turn you into your own victim.

Today, after a year of running back to who had been hurting me, I run my own life. 9 months later, I’m finally free of that addiction.

For those stuck in abusive relationships who don’t feel there is a way out. Talk to someone who understands or can help.

Talk to me if you have to. I’ve been there. You can contact me here.

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The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich (Expanded and Updated) (New York City: Harmony Books, 2009)

This is the book that started my journey. Introduced to me by a business partner, who believed enough in what the book had to say to send me a copy.

I trusted his recommendation not just because he had made himself wealthy or the unbelievable people that he hangs around with, but because he is also a friend. I guess hanging out in his penthouse suite at the yacht club overlooking Miami didn’t hurt my motivation either.

I always knew growing up that I didn’t want the horrible fate of a 9-5 job that so many around me just accepted as an inevitability. Had it not been for The 4-Hour Workweek, I probably never would have thought my dreams were achievable outside of some miracle.

I wouldn’t be traveling the world doing what I love. No, I’d be stuck behind a desk somewhere drooling into a telephone wondering if doughnuts were elephants or if i could smell the color purple.

All the while someone on the other line would be wondering why i can’t help them with THEIR problems.

Thankfully, that is not my life today.

You may see this book touted quite frequently on the internet, often recommended by others who have also made their dreams a reality. There is a reason for that. It’s because it works, or rather, the advice is good enough to change your life if applied properly.

People have asked me how they too can travel and fulfill their dreams.

Well, outside of having truly supportive family and friends, the thing that helped me the most was a book. This book.

Some of my friends that I have met along the way, are actually featured in the book and while it might not cover everything we had to go through or learn to get to where we are now… it’s a great start.

If you would like to learn more or purchase this book, click here.